Children’s Hospital September 2012
Healing takes time.
It takes patience.
Josh in X-Ray November 2012 at Children’s Hospital
The process can be painful and feel like it is taking forever.
I am discovering that it is in the midst of the heart wrenching pain and total weakness that God can help us to surrender to Him in ways we didn’t even realize we need to and that we hadn’t surrendered.
It in the midst of the pain and suffering when things seem the most impossible that we need to hang onto to God even more. It is when our strength runs out that His power can carry us. I have often said, that God rescued us from the accident for a special purpose. He isn’t finished with the work He needs to do in us and through us. The hard part in that truth is realizing that in order for Him to do the work He needs to do in our lives we have to completely surrender every aspect of our lives to Him so that He can do His transforming work.
I experienced so many close moments with God through the horrific trauma.
It is in the crying out to Him and placing my total trust in Him that transformed the way I see life now. I am in such awe at what He has done and continues to do in my life and the lives of my children.
I am in such awe of the incredible physical healing He is doing. But I am in even more awe of the amazing heart healing He is doing. It is when we are weak that He is strongest. That is so true! It was in those moments when our world revolved around hospitals and rehab centers that I had to put my complete faith in Him. And the more I did that the more I felt the strong need to share what He was doing in our lives with the people we met!
So many amazing opportunities to share of His faithfulness!
So many amazing people who touched our lives in the process and who’s lives God touched through ours as we shared the amazing miracles God was doing in our lives on a daiily basis. I do not in any way believe that God caused the accident. But I do believe that God worked even this experience for good for us. He can use whatever we are going through for His purpose and transform it into something good.
28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 ESV
April 2013 Children’s Hospital
God has brought us through so much over the last nine months. Sooo much healing has and continues to happen in our bodies, minds and hearts!
God has helped me to realize that experience of Him bringing us through the trauma and continued miraculous healing from the accident is even more evidence that He can and will be with us every step of the rest of our lives. We have nothing to fear! I know that if He can carry me through that He can and will carry me through anything!
In the middle of our tragedies we come to a point of decision…will I let this make me bitter or will I let God transform me and make me better because of having gone through this.
This is a Scripture that I hold onto when I am struggling with why we “had” to go through all of this…
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5 ESV
You see, we are not ever going through this alone! God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us! It is through the strength and transforming power of the Holy Spirit in my heart that I stand with confidence that God is with me and that this tragedy isn’t something that “God did to me out of punishment of some kind”.
I am not angry at God.
I do not and have not blamed God for any of it.
God has taken hold of my vision and helped me to see it all through eyes of gratitude and hope.
It has NOT been easy to get through. I am not making light of what we went through and are still going through…however, I need to answer the question that so many people are asking me.
“Your family was so happy and right at the beginning of ministering together for God and at the beginning of your married and family life, why would God do this now? Why would He take Will away now?”
Wow! Those are great questions!
Here is my answer, you may not agree with me but this is what I hold onto in the midst of living this. God didn’t do this to us. He never left us and carried us through every moment. He rescued the boys and me to stay here on earth and continue working to build His Kingdom. But Will was hurt so badly that He chose to rescue Him by taking him to heaven to do a complete and eternal healing. The time we had together was a very precious gift. I believe God knows what it is like to watch someone you love die. His son died for our sins after being tortured.
God didn’t let Will go through a long period of pain and suffering before he died. He rescued Will in before the first responders arrived on the scene. God called him home. What an amazing gift that was for Will. Will always looked forward to going home to heaven.
It is because of his frequent joy-filled conversations about what heaven would be like that helped prepare our children to accept that Daddy has gone home to heaven. It is because of how comfortable Will was with talking about dying and going to heaven that all three of his precious children are able to talk about what Daddy might be doing in heaven right now or how amazing it is that he has a brand new body and no more pain or suffering or tears.
And it is because of their many talks with their Daddy about heaven that they can be happy for him while being sad for us as we miss him. But it is because of the legacy of Will’s passion for Jesus in his own life that sowed so many seeds in the lives of his children and they now look forward to seeing him again in heaven and realize that death is not the end! It is a new beginning of all of eternity!
The other night, on our way home from town, Michael started singing one of our favorite songs. Big, Big House. I can’t remember who sings it. But the chorus goes like this…
Come and go with me to my Father’s house. Come and go with me to my Father’s house.
It’s a big, big house with lots and lots of rooms. A big, big table with lots and lots of food. A big, big yard where we can play FOOTBALL!
A big, big house…it’s my Father’s house!
We all started singing it together. After the third time through we got into another conversation about heaven. The boys started sharing what they think heaven will be like. Michael knows it must have lots of beautiful trees like we have in the Ozarks. Josh reminded us that it must have the best fishing lake ever because Daddy always used to talk about how when he would go to heaven one day he was looking forward to meeting up with his Uncle Jerry and St. Peter and heading off to go fishing and talk about the amazing things God had done. Tears of joy formed in my eyes and a smile was on my face. Because of the amazing leadership and example that Will gave them as their Daddy, they are not afraid to die. Michael will tell you he looks forward to seeing Jesus and being with Him forever and he looks forward to jumping into Daddy’s arms, telling him how much he loves him and missed him…and then letting Daddy take him on a tour of our house in heaven that Jesus prepared for him.
That is an amazing gift given to us by God through my marriage and our time as a family.
It was Will who helped me to realize how much I am looking forward to going to heaven to be with our Savior for all eternity!
Josh and Michael with our Orthopedic Specialist Nurse Practitioner who is in charge of their follow-up since the surgery in July.
It is with so much joy that we celebrate each step we reach in our physical healing.
But it is with even more joy and thanksgiving that we celebrate the spiritual milestones that we have experienced over the past nine months.
Each of us, Annelyse, Josh, Michael and I are all much stronger in our relationships with God than before the accident. God is even more real to each of us now.
Michael accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior in November of 2012.
Josh was baptized in November of 2012.
Annelyse is on fire for sharing the gospel and planned, organized, and led a mission focused youth event at her church in February to help teens see that there is so much that they can do for God and to share the gospel around the world now. She knows we don’t know the day or the hour we will be called home to heaven so we need to get to work now and not lose any more time!
And the passion that was a small flame in me before has grown into a roaring fire. A passion to share with all of you how God is at work in every one of our lives! He has a special purpose for our lives…but He has a special purpose for YOUR life too!
I hope and pray that by sharing our story of healing and growing you are encouraged to realize He loves you more than you can imagine! He is with you through whatever you are going through and you only have to make a decision. Will you let Him work through it for His glory? Or will you refuse that amazing gift and allow yourself to grow bitter?
I pray you will see how much He wants to work in and through you and that you share your journey of healing to encourage others in theirs.
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